I just got asked out on a date. With someone I met online. My original plan for tonight was to eat something easy and slightly naughty like barbecue chicken nachos and watch Netflix. Instead, I’m going to go meet a guy in a restaurant.
I said yes because I’ve enjoyed chatting with him. And because it is time to practice showing up as my authentic self in new ways. I’ve worked a lot on my relationships with my kids and allowed myself to be vulnerable and authentic with friends and family. But dating…
This is my first date since I divorced, and I have no expectations other than I hope I don’t regret forgoing nachos and Netflix. That’s the bar. If I’m wishing I was home on the couch getting barbecue sauce on my shirt while watching Outlander, there is not going to be a second date.
This is not my first attempt at dating since March. I actually asked a cute guy out a couple of months ago. He will remain nameless to protect his identity from my best friends who wouldn’t hesitate to kick some ass on behalf of my dignity. After some very fun flirtation, I (wo)manned up and asked him out for dinner. He was all in on the flirty banter. When I asked him out, he hemmed and hawed and said he was really busy. So, that would be a no. Because anything other than a yes is a no.
As I enter back into the dating world, I have a new motto: No Time for Nonsense. If my “nonsense” or red flag detector is tripped, I’m moving on because I’ve got no time for…
(“No time for nonsense” should have been my relationship motto all along and maybe my work motto, and occasionally, my parenting motto…)
Here I go trying again. Because nothing changes, if nothing changes. I’d like to go out. I’d like to find out who I am in romantic situations. So much has transpired in the last few years; I feel very different now and yet in some ways who I’ve been all along. I get the opportunity to start fresh and show up and just be me.
If it doesn’t work out, there’s always chips and cheese and a handsome young Scot in a kilt.