Mid pandemic, I recognize my own little self destructive cycle: beginning with boredom, I scroll social media, view posts, and against better judgement, read the comments. I give free rent in my mind to others’ thoughts and opinions on a wide range of subjects but mostly politics. I shift my focus to things I can't … Continue reading Attention
Rage
Rage. Pandemic rage. Perhaps you've felt it too. For a few days this week I raged. I wanted to burn it all down. You wouldn't know it by talking to me. I acted pretty normal. I didn't even know what I was feeling. If anything, I felt depressed, even a little numb. I felt disconnected … Continue reading Rage
Push
Last fall, my daughter, Jess, started working as a behavioral tech with kids who have autism. She began sharing stories of how she empathized with her charges. Not pitied, not sympathized but truly empathized about stims, melt downs, preferred and non-preferred behaviors, difficulty socializing, etc. Her empathetic response led her to connect what she observed … Continue reading Push
Better
Four months later... Hey, how are you? Really, how are you? I am better. Better than a month ago, better than a few months ago. I attempted writing a post in April a few times but deep in lockdown, I didn't have the brain space to pull together more than a couple of paragraphs. A … Continue reading Better
Relevance
Long time, no post. I've been writing but the landscape is changing so quickly that unless I posted that day or even that minute, what I wrote was irrelevant. I wrote about my eldest daughter dropping out of college for the second time. My advice to her: Let go of the "shoulds" and do with … Continue reading Relevance
Oxygen
"Before assisting others, put your oxygen mask on first." I heard this on the flight back from a women's retreat. I had been thinking about the phrase specifically on how it relates to women. We are often caregivers and mistakenly prioritize helping others put on their oxygen mask first. Worse yet, we might even insist … Continue reading Oxygen
Doors
I caught up with a good friend today. Last week, one of her children received a No when she was desperately hoping for a Yes. I don't care how old you are: when your future hangs on a yes, it hurts to receive that no. A door closes and we are left standing on the … Continue reading Doors
Lift
You know that moment when you click back into yourself? Maybe you've felt out of sorts or disconnected or generally discombobulated (a fav word) and suddenly, you just fit again within yourself. It happened this morning while out for a walk. I made the turn for home and felt it. I felt myself realign followed … Continue reading Lift
Sea Change
Early in January 2019, I wrote in my journal that a sea change was coming. A sea change is defined as "a profound or notable transformation." I thought that because I was ending some things (marriage, a family structure, part time work) that I was near the beginning of a new journey. Little did I … Continue reading Sea Change
Moms
To my children’s significant others and friends, Thank you for saying hi to me the other day. I sensed you were nervous and just maybe it took a major effort to walk or look my way. I want you to know that because my child cares about you, I care about you too. I wish … Continue reading Moms